About Time That I Come Clean

Alright, you'll hear it here first, now get ready for the scoop. I am now a myspacer. (The link is on the right) I check it more often than I blog. I do however, plan to blog alot more of the next few weeks as I'm going to B Rad's hometown for, you guessed it, work. The MoMo keeps me busy these days but like I said, I'll blog alot more. I've also started a storyboard for my newest cinematic adventure. I have no actual title but it's working name is "New Cinematic Adventure." Not to give anything away but it will feature a location from my childhood, yes that's right, the woods of Spruce Grove. It's still in the early stage but I do know that it will not have lame music. I've got 2 songs in mind and just need one more as I do not want it to be more than 10 minutes long. I'm also in the market for a new camera, one that will plug right into my Mac. Perhaps I'll just buy the attachment instead of buying a totally new camera. This one afterall, was free. Thanks mum & dad! Ok kids, I gotta nap as I'm heading into work at 10pm, ick. But, as I nap thoughts of my vacay this May will dance through my head. We've scrapped NYC until September and are touring haunted houses and sites in May as it'll be perfect weather. It'll be a blast! ~Kell

Got Gator?

I had Gator Kebabs downtown and hey, they were good. A little pay back for ol' Stevie Irwin I think. Hee hee. Kelly 1, Gators 0, well 1 gator kebab I guess. Ha!

It's Done

My dog, Behr, that I've had for 10 years died Friday night, I'm not only sad but terribly disturbed that a creature who was only good, would be taken away.

Silly Rabbit

I've just discovered a fantastic new show. I heard a few things about it, the press was all up in it but I never actually watched it. Until today, I heart Entourage. Sure, it's a show about rich famous people and I know it's been done before but I do like it. I feel shallow and a bit simple as I watch the show but meh. Why did it take me so long you ask? Well, between work and fighting Desert Fox for the remote, my tv schedule is quite limited. Usually I'm sitting through another Star Gate, Star Trek or more recently, the box set of Rome. Talk about a waste of time. Like come on! You know how it ends! Why are we watching this?!? It's like watching a dog chase and jump at a balloon, you know how it's gonna end, so why the hell would you watch it? Pure unedited tom-foolery. Yes, that's right, tom-foolery. I'm bring it back kids! Along with the word pant, as in pants that we wear. Yes, yes, yes, I know we use the word pant, but what you don't know, is that we've all been saying it wrong. Currently, we as a whole say, "Wow Harold, those are nice pants!" when we really should be saying, "Gee Harold, that's a sharp looking pant." I've also decided to turn tomorrow into "OperatioN DobbeY BuggeR", in which I plan to annoy Casanova with simple word drops. I'll start of small with 'daft' instead of silly, 'chordy' instead of moody, and 'git' instead of idiot. And it doesn't stop there. I'll then move from easy to medium, dropping more uncommon words like, 'rozzer' instead of cop, 'trousered' instead of drunk (not to be confused with trousers, as in slacks). Then my final stage is the completley, you have to be an idiot not to notice the obvious pretentious 'cherrio,' 'knackered,' 'ta,' 'cheers,' 'the jeordies,' 'boot,' 'bonnet,' and 'row.' Oh bloody hell, that cheeky poufder won't know what hit him. Mwahhaha!!!

Nuff Said

I Love You and You

I, as always, but today even more, love my parents. They bought me a wireless router and now I can take my Mac to anywhere I desire. I could even strap it to my bike and ride along typing away. Oh what joy. Do I love my 'Rents? Sure do Kent.

Brad Do Your Worst, Spell Check Did

Tell me you went to the website I posted for you. Now tell me you watched the video. Now, is that not the coolest video ever? How long would it have taken them to learn that routine and to do it in one take? That's fantastic! I wish I could do that, and make it as cool as that. I know I think up some pretty weird things but wow! The mind on buddy who thought that up, just wow. Today I went grocery shopping and we now have like 6 kinds of cereal. It's like the 3 we already had were not good enough by comparison. I think it's time for a cereal party. Banani and T-Dawg are up for it, so am I. I also have company comming this weekend. Nic from Grande Pairie is staying with Desert Fox and I. This should be interesting, hopefully we won't crush her spirit too much. Wow, so much is going on. I can hardly wait. Now, if only people would stop calling and waking me up, ahem Chewy ahem. I'm sorry but 9 am is very early. If you're not working early why the hell would you be up? That's right, you wouldn't be. And hey, what was that sound of annoyance when you mentioned the time? 9 is extreemly early. Oh great, now spell check isn't working, Brad is going to have a field day.........

You Need To See This

This is pretty awesome, wait...AWESOME. You need to check it out.

~Kelly

P.S. What's the deal with waking me up? Stop doing it people...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI&NR

Not Just Sweet Caroline

I pity the fool who doesn't listen to oldies but goodies because they're afraid they look like losers, ahem Brad ahem. Not only does Neil Diamond rock as a singer/performer but he's an awesome actor. Have you never ever seen the Jazz Singer? If not get up, walk to your oven, turn it on and stick your head in. It's a great movie, I'd say a must for anyone worth anything.

Chewy, Is Your Refrigerator Running? Yeah? Well, You Better Run and Catch It! Mwha ha ha....

B Rad:

Not only do I not care what you think, but I also do not care what you think. Oh and long story short, you suck.

Thanks For Pointing That Out....

Is it just me or does Stephen Harper's eyes look white? The blue iris is so pale it's almost white. He's like friggin Jordie from Star Trek! That just ain't right. Hey today, on my way to work Joe was playing Neil Diamond's "America," oh yeah, I totally rocked out. I owned it, totally owned it. My own little word materialized around me and I was in the zone, my only downfall was to look over and realize the car beside me was too. He was pointing his fingers in the air everytime Neil says "totay!" Cut to me gobsmacked, to shocked to carry on.

Is that what I look like when I do it??!!? Why did NO ONE tell me....

So, I'm currently trying to break my finger-pointing-in-the-air-at-the-best-part of-the-song-habit. What a loser I am. Meh, I'm cool wit dat. ~ word

Raise Your Glasses

What if glasses were not vision correctors but windows into a differet world? Maybe the world is fuzzy blobs but my glasses change the world around me into something else? I know, it's a long shot but what if?

Cindy, Where Did We Go So Very Wrong?

B Rad, as Cindy Loper once said, "I see your true colours shining through, I see your true colours." Now, I'm sure Cindy didn't envision what I'm about to lay down but why are you always bringing my skin colour into play? is it not enough that I let you call me cracka? And if we're quoting each other you once called me Pedro. Which is it B Rad? A red neck or a Mexican? Now that we've got the ugliness out of the way, dude, what are you talking about? I wasn't implying that my skin would change colour, I was just saying that I could let my peeps know what alert we were on today. Like the US is in a perpetual state of Orange Alert. And while we're on the topic, what the hell is an orange alert? Should the not ride the bus that day? But then how would one get to work or to school. See, that's the real danger, not getting proper education because you can't get on the bus or train. What if your science teacher was bringing in a guest speaker on a Tuesday, the only time that year and you missed it. I once missed a school field trip to a farm and I was forever scarred. I can't look at a dairy cow the same way. While my classmates learned how to milk a cow I was sitting at home playing Nintendo with my sick sister because I missed the bus. Well, I was actually walked to school and missed the bus because I played the wait until mum notices I'm not walking behind her game. Wow, I'm surprised my parents kept me. No, no, no, it's fair. I was a stupid kid, always being a smart ass and always saying something. Well, thank god that's changed and I've grown into the responsible, respectful adult I am today. Hey, did I tell you about this cop I lipped off to today?..... Oh P.S. I got the DVD's Brad, thanks, can we spell A W E S O M E ? Uh, I can...

So Informative

Why do I have a great blog idea when there is a pen shortage? This pandemic results in mediocre posts, like this one. Well, at least I can say I made my words quota. We all know one, that one person who needs to spew verbal vomit every time they open their mouth. That's me, but in blog form. Well, not today, I couldn't remember anything good so I updated my info. I think it accurately describes my mood today. Oh hey, that's be cool. A colour warning system. Chewy would know when not to mess with me an B Rad would know when he's about to have his manhood served to him on a platter. Yep, that's right, because you'd get served. Write that one down boys, I'll let you use it. Sizzle sizzle doesn't cut it.

Sun Down

Today I heard a fantastic cover of "“House of the Rising Sun"” originally done by The Animals. It was so good didn't realize it was a cover until I started singing along. I was like, "“How do I know the words?"” It, in case you were wondering, was Tracey Chapman covering the song. Some think covers are for no talent hacks that can't write their own songs. This is so no so. It takes great talent to take someone else'’s words and make them their own. A few examples come to mind, Madonna'’s "“Music"” is mediocre at best but a punk group, (Out of Your Mouth), made it sound a bit like the group Orgy, gothic and smeared. Al Green'’s song "Take me to The River"” was never a hit when he sang it, (even though his version, in my opinion, is the best version), was made asomeonehit by someon else because he put his own dig onto it. Metallica, (yes I'’m still angry with Lars), did a great cover of "Turn the Page." I used to think of buddy on his tour bus now I think of prostitutes, thanks. I think it's safe to say that the great covers list is huge as more and more artists can now get exposure via the Internet. However, I need to mention 2 of my all time favorite covers. KoRn covered Vanilla Ice'’s "“Ice Ice Baby"” and it is fantabulous. And I think it'’s more than safe to say that the best cover I'’ve ever heard came from an unlikely source, Johnny Cash himself did a cover. Now it'’s no stretch to say that I more than like Johnny Cash, I really do think living in the middle of nowhere turned me into a hick. It's odd but genius that he covered Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor's voice can be as miserable as a fresh prisoner at shower time. When I listen to "Hurt"” sung by Johnny Cash it sounds suicidal, but, I know that's not what the song'’s about. It'’s just pure gold, and not that crap they guard at Fort Knoleprechaunse magical gold that Lepracons have. Why is the Lep's gold better? Hello, it'’s at the end of a rainbow people, and FYI, those Skittles commercials are totally not believable. I hope they realize that or someone’s getting fired on Monday when this hits the press.

I Like hairspring in the Aerosol Cans, Not the Pump Spray...Who Has Time For a Pump Spray?

Al Gore? Try Al Bore!!!!!

This is an example of a pandemic that's sweeping our nation. Stupid puns. It's effecting everyone from black to white, rich to poor and even me the best damn blogger out there. But seriously kids, when did Al Gore become a movie star? And Tipper? What horrible parents to name their child Tipper. Sure it was the crazy 50's with the Cadi's and the post war STD's going around. Lord knows how many "Daisy Janes" her mum took and I'm sure her dad was never around, he spent all his time at the office or playing golf with his ever eager assistant "Josh" with the metro eyebrows and over groomed chops. But seriously now, apparently this "Global Warming" is a huge problem. There's only 100 years left unless we change now. 100 years? Please, I except that as a personal challenge. When he spoke of vehicles emitting toxic fumes, littering, pollution (from factories making everything from hair supplies to greating cards), and nuclear waste disposal, it's like he was talking to me. Well Al, I accept your challenge. 100 years to destroy our planet? I'll do it in 78, no, wait, 77 years. Take that Tipper.

What's The Deal With Airline Peanuts???

I would like to personally applaud the person who came up with the speed limit. (For those with learning disabilities (Brad), that's sarcasm) Since the dawn of time we (humans, not those sign language speaking apes) have driven our way into the history books. I don't ever remember reading anything about speed limits in the journey of life. Now, this whole "Construction Speed Limits" campaign has to end here. Wait...right...here. You're not going to get anyone to slow down with those stupid billboards, (Don't 'RIP' Through Construction Zones), and for the higher ups in the advertising firms, no one has ever in the history of forever has called speeding 'Ripping." If you want people to slow down, sit down, get a note pad and sharpen your pencils, I'm about to give you the best advice you'll ever receive: Harpoons.

I do believe my work here is done, as it clearly speaks for it's self.

No? It doesn't? You need more details?..... Ok....

You need to exploit your construction workers like the Christian Fund exploits malnourished orphans. Replace those billboards with the 'RIP' on a headstone and replace it with a bad-ass, tattooed, pierced, primary school drop out holding a harpoon and you'll get noticed. Take away their "Slow" hand signs and give them a harpoon big enough to turn Moby Dick inside out 3 times over. Spear a few tires and impale a few bikers and it won't take long before word of mouth turns your uphill battle to a smooth ride down Success River. I'm not saying it'll end all road side troubles, but it will end the used of ridiculous commercials and shameful, shameful uninspired print ads.

***** Brad, you're off the hook, I like the title******

You're so a L7 <--That's For Chewy

Well, well, well. The shunned come crawling back. I thought I was too 8 Mile for you B Rad. Now, I may be ghetto but I do know my grammar, and I'm pretty sure the word you were looking for was "you're" not "your." Better luck next time but as a parting gift you'll receive a lovely set of steak knifes from the fine people at Slash Pro. Enjoy mofo.

Mmmm, Soylent

Being back at my parents house is not really all that weird. It's like I never left, except that my room has completly different furniture in it and nothing is at all the same. It's nice though. I really like what my mum's done with my room, it looks good. If only she'd done that while I lived here. I may not have been so ill-adjusted to life in the real world. Can I just say this one thing and I'll never bring it up again? Why do the employees in Safeway make a point of looking at you and saying "Good morning" with a false cheery disposition? I gotta tell ya, kinda creepy. You just know the woman behind the deli counter isn't that happy at 8:15 in the frickin morning. And someone should tell health and safety those hairnets freak me out. And have they never heard of clear hairnets? You can't even see them on most test subjects. (Yes I did say most, there were a few lab rats who looked completely skuz during lab tests). And if for some crazy reason this woman is soo cheery that early, what is she really making back there? I wouldn't be surprised if your tuna sandwich didn't have a healthy dollop of Soylent Green.

Becks, You Suck

I can see being hurt, I can see being upset and I can totally understand it's been a long time coming, but to drop kick a country when they're so down, (and we all kow how down England really is, even without the loss) but that just plain sucks. And for that Mr. David Beckham gets three Angry Grannys out of four.