Farmer Love...Ick

Right. I love my friend Stampy, I do. But come on. Here's chain email I got:

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups, and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle. "Here,Dolly!"he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands." With tears in his eyes, farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy. "How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

Ok, now, here's what's wrong with this story. No working farmer would humor some random kid. "Thirty five cents? Get the hell outta here kid." That's how that'd go. And is there anyone in this world who finds the fact that a child can't do math charming? I don't think so. I would be soo annoyed having to spend time explaining to some kindergarten drop out that 6 pennies doesn't buy a car. What adult would sell a kid a dog with no parents with him? Odds are you give the kid the dog and you get Jerry deadbeat dad knocking on your door at 3am 2 days later screaming and yelling while the kids crack-head stripper mum is in the car honking the horn and screaming how hungry she is. Most farmers drown the runt of the litter, and I have an idea that some eat them. Why let good meat go to waste? And how the hell did Forest Gump get to the farm anyways? Was he just hobbling down a dirt road hoping to have Daddy Warbucks find him and buy him a new leg? Hell, maybe he'll even learn to do housework! And I don't think farmers even have tear ducts. I'm pretty sure they dry up from years in the sun and having pesticide burning their iris'. And if a farmer starts talking to you about love, he's either a friend of Dorothy or married to his favorite cow Bessie and looking for a 'friend.'

And what about the empty promise at the end? Will I really get my wish at 3am if I send it to 3 people? Because if so, I'm going to suffocate under all that money I wished for.

Do I really have to blog about how much I despise chain emails again?