The Oscars Really Do Suck

As I sit here, forced to watch the Oscars, I thought,of what I believe to be, the best 6 things to do at Wal-Mart and 3 awesome things to do at McDonalds.

Wal-Mart:
6) Put M&M's on layaway, and then pay off the layaway 50 cents at a time,
5) While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?
4) When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!
3) Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
2) When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?!
1) Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

McDonalds:
3) Order a Whopper.
2) Put a "Mc" in front of everything you say. Example:Excuse me, Mc-sir but could I get some Mc-salt with my Mc-fries.
1) Ask your server to stop intentionally insulting your race.

I need a life. And the TV remote.