That Much Wood Eh?

You may need to sit down, and if you already are, I'd get a chair with a back on it, because this is gonna rock your world! I know how much wood a woodchuck chucks.

Average amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck in a given day: 230 butt cords of wood.

Median amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck in a given hour: 46 butt cords of wood.

Record high for woodchuck wood chucking of 6169 butt cords was attained on May 15, 1996 .

(NOTE: the above calculations take into account that woodchucks chuck no wood on February second, in observance of ground hog day.)

What the hell is a butt cord? I hope to god it's part of a tree. I've learned in my travels that a tree grows from the top, like if there is a fire in the forest, a tree will grow new branches and what not from the top. Cool eh? I wonder what that would be like, our heads would be huge, like really really huge. I guess we wouldn't feel it, probably no more than how our fingernails feel when they grow.