Who's on the Who?

Tonight at work I learned many interesting things. I learned that a Gentleman's Club and a Strip Club are the same thing, also, there is no sex in the Champagne Room, in fact, most places don't even have a Champagne Room. Also, Crack Cocaine and Cocaine are different things, strippers really aren't working their way through school and most of them actually are skanks. There is no bum corner downtown just a pee corner and that the SPCA won't pickup a stray dog unless it's bleeding. Desert Fox got her nickname from some Army guy who drove tanks with brooms on the back to stir up dirt in the desert and that same guy's grandson rowed into a storm on the ocean and had to be rescued. Hitler forced people to kill themselves and Paul Newman used to be in movies and salad dressings are actually his secondary career and not the other way around. Meatloaf's lyrics tell a story, it's not just a song to sing to. The Infantry has really stupid people and really smart people, and the movie The Renaissance Man is very factual. And lastly, not just old people don't have middle names. Where you ask, do I get all this information, surely, I have multiple sources for this vast yet mostly useless knowledge, nope just one. My buddy trainer, The Knowledge Whore. I'm suppose to think of an awesome nickname for him but I like The Knowledge Whore for now. I will change that, but I need time. I want to convey his rage issues with the fact that he knows a lot of crazy shit and that his dancing is, on a scale of one to ten, 1 being Lance Bass from N*SYNC and 10 being Napoleon Dynamite, a 13.387. Oh yes, it's just that good. My favorite move: The Leg Kick. Oh no, it's no regular Michael Jackson thriller music video leg kick, it's better. It makes Jacko's move look like chicken vomit. So yeah, by Monday I'll have it.

Now, on to a matter close to my heart: Why is the word whore shortened to ho? Shouldn't it be who? But I guess if that were the case it'd be like who's on first but with skanks involved. Like "Who's that who?" "I dunno man but I heard that who gave a you know what to you know who!" "No way! What who? The who with the boots that she stole from the who who lives with the Calgary who?" "No, the who who has the Taco Bell who's number. You know, the who who gets paid with Tacos?" "Oh, that who." I can see the dilemma, I now see why the w was dropped, less confusing for all involved.

I just Goggled my buddy trainer and like 16+ entries were found. Buddy, you're totally famous. I Goggled myself and nothing came up, ouch, that hurts.