I Said Good Day!

How the hell do I owe Rogers $87.03????? I don't get it, I don't talk that much. I just don't get it. I bet it was the Flare magazine. It says only $1.00 an issue but there's probably some start up fee. There's always a start up fee. Or maybe it's the text messages every time the Leafs play. I mean it's only like 1 text like 3 times a week. B Rad says he only pays like $30 a month, how is that even possible? Well, I guess, I never see his phone, and he doesn't know that many people, and I guess he's home a lot. I guess it could only be like 30 bucks. Whatever, Rogers and I are not talking. I'm going to call tomorrow and raise hell. Maybe I shouldn't I might actually owe that, maybe it's a lot of day time minutes. Where's Catherine Zeta Jones when you need her? She's always going on about daytime minutes right? Whatever. And what the hell is a tuffett? I was going to write about B Rad and his brother Mikey and refer to them as Miss Muffett and the spider. And then I started thinking about a tuffett. I was told it was a stool but then why wouldn't they just say stool? I guess because it doesn't rhyme with Muffett. Then why not call her Miss O'Toole? It gets the same point across, she is a girl who sits on a stool, eats curds and whey, then there's a spider beside her she books it. Sounds good to me. I think I'll submit my modern re-write and see what Mother Goose has to say. probably "Honk!" seeing as she's a Goose! Why the hell does a Goose not have a graceful call? And what sound does a deer make? I see whistles in hunting sections of major department stores but I can't see a deer whistling. It just doesn't seem right. Kinda like a german-polish 45 year old computer processor with coke bottle glasses and lieder-hosen knowing what Britney and Kevin are up to. Just not right.

Today we had a visit at work from Shrek. Everyone hates and fears him yet they all kiss his ass. I didn't really notice how much the dm's are terrified by him until I saw B Rad in a total panic. His face, neck and ears were beat red, I'd never seen him like that. Wow, one man has the power to do that? I want that power. Making grown men stress like that, I'm soo there. Huh?

Someone just called my cell phone and didn't bother to leave a message! I am appalled! And you just know they listened to my non generic voicemail message featuring the boys from Billy Talent. How rude. No, you don't get to hear my voicemail message unless you leave a message, come on, I spent money on this thing and you're just going to hang up? As if! I would never! That's it, I'm too upset to bother! I couldn't possibly! I just couldn't possibly!

Now, in honour of Shrek and the power he weildes, I give you Shrek Green!