Guys, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fricken stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get the Caddie in the driveway, the chedda in my bank account and the model/Texas born surfer turned Australian rugby champ now sports commentator for the BBC. What a bunch of crap. I wonder if the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and steal my Christmas tree and holiday spirit while I sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and then stolen by Canadian drunks thinking it was a treasure map, and if it makes it to the year 2008, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Because the current record holder only lasted 2002 years and 364 days. Wow, the tennis elbow you must have got back then, well, seeing as there was no email or even electricity. Chipping away on your marble slate late into the night, constantly being burned by the flickering flame and scalding hot wax drippings. Now that's dedication.
I especially like the ones that guilt me into annoying my friends. Telling me some sob story about little Jimmy in Brazil who has no arms, legs, parents, or even a pet goat who desperately needs your help, you see, for every forward of this such email, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy Fund in his home town of Mamooshka, Brazil. And if I don't send this to at least 10 people, I will find myself walking the streets of hell in a Canadian Goose Down Filled Parka, being constantly hit by thrown monkey poop, and not only be forced to eat adorable kittens but being videotaped by that annoying obnoxious guy from my P.E. class who smelled like cauliflower, which is to be shown at my high school reunion. Oh! I almost forgot! Make a wish and it will come true in 106 years when I'm already dead and not able to enjoy the super sonic invisable hover craft I initially wished for. Well, maybe my kids can use it for something. When they get out of jail.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment