I'll Have The Roundhouse Kick To My Ass

One hundred billion dollars! I like Dr. Evil. No wait, I heart Dr. Evil. Who ever thought Mikey Caine would be in an Austin Powers movie, who woulda thunk it??? Well, truth be told, who ever thought Chris Walken would be in The Wedding Crashers. My fav Chris scene; Jeremy is tied to his bed and he just sits down and carries on the convo, and at one point tugging the rope to see how secure it really is. Oh solid gold! Or is it solid nuclear. It's pronounced nuclear. Oh Homer, you silly. Chris Walken used to frighten me as a child, I believe it had something to do with a movie involving him as a fallen angel, destroying the world and he had black wings. Creepy. Now I'm afraid of Chuck Norris. Not just because he was 'Walker: Texas Ranger' even though that was a good quality show, but because he can roundhouse kick your ass. Oh yeah, I've heard he once roundhoused kicked his kid's ass for not giving 187% at finger painting. Wow. Imagine for a minute if you will, you're his personal assistant. You arrive to pick him up, let's say you're not even 2 minutes late. Chuck, "You make me late." Bam! ~Roundhouse kick to the face.~ You pick yourself up, you're now driving to the karate school, you run a red, Bam! ~Roundhouse kick to the ear.~ And he didn't even take off his seatbelt. After the karate school you go to Starbucks, you order his pumpkin spice latte, decaf, half fat, double shot, extra spice, Bam! ~Roundhouse kick to the neck.~ Chuck, "I want and Egg Nog Latte, who drinks a fall drink during the holidays? What, you can't just pick that one up!?!" Crisis averted, you're now very bruised and broken, you drive to the spa, Chucky goes in, as you drive away you curse his name, Bam! ~Roundhouse kick to your left kidney.~ As you sit there amazed and slowly coughing up blood you realize, Chucky Norris is Roundhouse kicking my ass! Wow.